Scattered. Ungrounded. Anxious. Overwhelmed. On edge. Those were some of the feelings I noticed while sitting in mediation the other day. Times are hard. We are now six months into this pandemic. Six months! You remember when governments across the globe announced the two weeks stay-at-home order? And how two weeks became one month inside our homes, two months, three months…and so on? Well, I have to say I genuinely thought two weeks at home was going to be no problem, in fact, I was kinda ready for this break. I had been non-stop doing and going; resting and taking it easy was exactly what my body was craving.
Moving slow and having the extra time to do all the things I had been wanting to do, filled me up, but honestly, that feeling didn’t stick for a long time. I was missing interaction with family and friends, and teaching in-person yoga classes, and being able to travel. The saying ‘change is the only constant in life’ reminded me of how dynamic life is. We are constanly ebbing and flowing. Going up and down, rolling in and out like the ocean’s waves. When the new normal happened, we watched ourselves going through some unexpected changes on so many levels. Just inside my home, my living room became the space from which I now work and teach yoga and Spanish.
When I think of what a sense of normalcy before COVID-19 hit meant to me, my mind says “some kind of normal in my days felt like following routines, sticking with the plan, going through the to-do list, doing my work and also scheduling some fun stuff, like going to play racquetball, doing yoga, going for a hike, etc. These things were familiar to me. I was used to doing them all the time. And now with the new normal, I had to build new routines.
At the beginning of the pandemic, I caught myself running around my house, trying to accomplish all kinds of projects; from reorganizing my kitchen shelves and closets to wanting to take yoga twice a day (I had the time, why not?) to catching up with my reading and figuring out what online training to join. I wanted to do it all and feel complete, but in trying *so hard* to fit all these things into my schedule and going for all at once, I felt as if I was living life on autopilot, doing doing, and more doing. I noticed that for my mind it was challenging to give up not being productive. This makes sense, as a society we have been conditioned to function that way. Work. Work. Work. Be Successful. Accomplish this. Do that. Get things done. And when we finally carve out time to rest and relax, we crash. Can you relate?
Personal and collective challenges continue to surface, but I have also been thinking of this new way of being that many of us have been embracing. It’s a holistic way of being. With less interaction with the outside world, we have been pulled to be with ourselves more than we are normally used to, and to practice being present, reevaluate priorities, feed the human spirit, create routines around our schedules and lifestyles, and be there for each other. Collectively, we shared a mutual unkown future, and so much is moving on a cellular level thanks to all the movements that are arising and fighting for a more just world. I’m curious, what’s been alive for you during this time?